If we don’t control our minds, our minds will control us.
To become a healthier human with more joy and peace, I’ve done a lot of work to have a sound mind.
As I’ve discussed before… I’ve struggled a lot in the past with anxiety. And as far as I can tell, so do most people (especially entrepreneurs).
Note: I survey my clients, and 100% state they have anxiety.
Peace trumps everything!
Below are some steps to consider in releasing anxiety.
Anxiety comes from the internal stories going on inside (mostly subconscious)… a thought we don’t have clarity around.
Anxiety is an indicator that something needs to be addressed.
The problem comes when we don’t get to the root of our anxious thoughts (cause it’s scary), suppress the feelings they produce, and stay anxious.
“Anxiety is when fear takes over your mind. Anxiety is when fear moves from the tangible to the hypothetical. Anxiety is when the what-ifs of life suffocate your brain. Anxiety is when you can’t fall asleep at night. Anxiety is when you can’t relax and take a nap. Anxiety is when your mind won’t turn off. Anxiety is when your imagination runs haywire, with no boundaries or limits. Anxiety is when your chest is tight, your breathing shallow, and your head dizzy.”
Before I dive in, I want you to know I have a lot of empathy for this topic. I don’t take it lightly. If it’s something you deal with, I hope this can help you. Also, I’m not a doctor. 😉
Quick framework for getting through anxiety.
Trigger: Feel Anxiety
- Acknowledge That Anxiety is There
Acknowledging the anxiety is essential in the process of addressing the anxiety.
Here’s what it looks like to acknowledge anxiety:
“oh hey, anxiety, I feel you… okay, what’s going on?” or “Chris, you’re feeling anxious; let’s take a minute and check in.”
The FACT IS we’re ALWAYS talking to ourselves; that’s where the anxiety comes from.
Suppressing the feelings won’t help us. It only prolongs the suffering.
Once we acknowledge it…
- Acknowledge the Story Being Told (the source of the anxiety).
There is continually a story being told. Our job is to acknowledge that it’s happening and figure out what the story is.
Pausing (in silence, taking deep breaths), ask yourself what’s happening. If this isn’t a common practice, it might take some time to source.
Practicing silence (no music, conversations, TV, business, etc.) is crucial to determining what’s happening. I know silence can be scary. Noise doesn’t help, even though we think it does. The noise numbs.
So, what’s the internal story?
-Feel behind in business?
-A team member is leaving?
-Client tells you they’re leaving?
-Being sued and don’t know how it will turn out?
-Getting surgery?
-Not enough leads for the business?
For example, “I just got served papers for a lawsuit….”
The anxiety (I’ve found) comes from ruminating (subconsciously) on many negative potentials — the meaning behind the anxiety.
Once we identify the story, we need to…
- Acknowledge the Meaning Behind the Story
What does this mean for me or about me?
What am I translating or ruminating about?
Example:
“If I’m sued, I could lose a lot.”
“People will think less of me.”
“I won’t be able to defend myself.”
“This will take up the next five years of my life.”
“I’m done in business.”
These are the meanings that are attached to my root story of anxiety.
If I’ve subconsciously told myself those stories, I will feel bad.
But what PROOF is that ANY of those stories are true?
Anxiety often comes from an unbridled mind. This is why “renewing our minds daily” is a necessity (especially in the world we live in today).
Stories > Meaning > Ekk feeling
The meaning is usually the biggest scariest monster in the closet that is going to eat us. 😅
- Acknowledge the Actual Truth Behind the Story and Meaning
“Yes, I’m getting sued.” That’s true.
“Can I control the lawsuit? No.” That’s the truth.
“Can I control what people think about me? No.” That’s the truth.
“Can I control what my response is? Yes!” That’s the truth!!
“Will it work out? Yes”
Acknowledging the truth separates our truth from our fiction (like the list above).
As the brain goes, so do the emotions.
It’s wild how we make up the craziest things.
So…
- DECIDE
What you’ll think and believe about your future.
Anxiety starts in the brain. You can work consciously through the process of changing the story or the meaning behind the story.
Even if the story and the meaning are true, YOU still can choose what that means for you.
Like, “people will think less of me”…
“Omg, that will be awful, and the worst ever,” to “Those people aren’t my family and true friends, and their opinion doesn’t matter.”
See? We get to DECIDE what our conscious brain does and let that impact our subconscious!
We can make the decision and choose how we handle it.
Again, I’m not taking your situation lightly, but when I’ve decided to take control of my mind and say, “No, I’m not going to swim in that cesspool of bad, ineffective thought,” it’s helped.
Anxiety lets me know something is going on that I need to check in on.
However, prolonged anxiety is unnecessary suffering.
In the words of Jesus, don’t worry about tomorrow. It has enough worries of its own. Profound.
To your peace,
Chris