Pressure Is A Privilege
Shout out to our new subscribers! Welcome to the fam!
The Thought: How we feel is determined by what we think. We have two thinking systems: conscious and subconscious. Changing our perspective on a situation can change our feelings and well-being.
Here’s some context: many people feel a lot of pressure and face varying challenges. If that’s you, you’re not alone. I wanted to write up some considerations to help.
We have an instant pot. I feel like I’ve been in it. 😅
Those things cook a pork loin in about 20 minutes. I’ve gained a lot of wisdom from being in the pot.
In last week’s letter, I discussed that I was in the process of settling legal challenges. Well, I’m still “in process.” And that process is pressure.
But I’ve had a “peace that surpasses understanding.” First, the big reason I believe that is the case is the grace of God. First and foremost.
Then, there are some practical things I’ll share below.
I optimized so much of my life for comfort and convenience. It’s something I normalized. That’s not a good thing to normalize because it’s not the reality of life. Even the “wealthiest” people in the world have health problems, relationship problems, financial issues, etc.
Normalizing for comfort is usually avoidance of perceived pain.
Now, I’m working to normalize discomfort, pressure, and hardship.
If we can thrive in a place of pressure, we become antifragile. I wrote about antifragility here.
My wife and I have been watching this tennis show on Netflix called Break Point (I recommend it). During the walkout at one of the stadiums, these goliaths of the gameplay say, “Pressure is a Privilege.”
It struck me.
That is a perspective shift.
And that’s the first realization when you’re dealing with something difficult that is pressure.
Pressure is a gift. It can be painful. It can hurt. But it’s a gift.
Apply These Shifts For Handling Pressure
Change Perspectives on The Situation
When the pressure IS ON, you are being expanded.
The gift of pressure is expansion and perspective. It requires me to count what matters. Pressure is an opportunity to become stronger and better and more wise.
Don’t lose that opportunity.
I’m not minimizing any struggle or pain you’re going through. Trust me, I have a lot of empathy for where you might be.
But what if I could CHOOSE peace and joy in this situation? What if I allowed the pressure to refine me?
The problem is we live in a world where we prioritize comfort, so when challenges come, everything hurts.
Our thoughts and perspectives can make things better or worse.
Instead of the struggle and pressure hurting you,» the resistance strengthens you! It’s making you antifragile. It was needed.
A tree needs wind to get stronger.
Gratitude Is Paramount
When we take a minute and stop focusing on lack, what’s missing, or where we’re not at yet and shift our minds and hearts to so much gratitude for what WE DO have, it will change the game.
Brené Brown interviewed hundreds of “intense trauma” victims. There was a commonality with the ones “leaning into joy,” and it was gratitude. Gratitude was the difference maker. Gratitude is a perspective shift.
Gratitude is a drastically underutilized vehicle that can move us from darkness to light.
Recently, when we were in DC for vacation and started running into inconveniences, I started saying, “What a gift.” It’s wild how it changed everybody’s attitude.
Everybody started saying it… if I got annoyed by something, “Dad, what a gift that was,” I immediately smiled.
We have an ABUNDANCE of gifts all around.
Let Go of the Things You Can’t Control
As entrepreneurs, we’re CONTROL freaks.
We like to think we can control everything about our lives.
We can’t.
The sooner we realize this and let go of what’s not in our control, the sooner we’ll feel the tension and pressure left.
I can’t control what the economy will do.
I can’t control what the real estate market will do.
I can’t control what competitors will do.
I can’t control if someone sues me.
There is so much I can not control.
I CAN control MY RESPONSE.
The more open-handed I am with life, the more freedom I find.
I was attached to my businesses, success, money, assets, and the perception of people… letting all those things go gives me so much peace, which “shouldn’t be the case.”
Practice Awareness Daily
A lot of our pain comes from subconscious rumination.
I’ve lived most of my life in this place. There are things I’m not aware of… that rule my perceived reality. The sooner I can get awareness and reroute the “story,” the sooner I feel better and proceed.
My process was to suppress vs. feel it. I thought I was protecting myself. Suppression of negative emotions is self-harm.
Now, I feel it and speak life and truth to myself. No matter what challenge you’re going through, it will work out.
When we’re not practicing awareness every day of the stories we’re telling ourselves and then confronting those stories, everything will tend to feel bad.
I know those emotions, and even thinking about it can be painful. The good news is you’ve already experienced the worst of it. Let it up and let it out.
That leads us to the next one…
Process With Someone You Trust
Getting someone who knows what they’re doing is valuable to help unlock the things going on underneath.
Someone who knows you and knows what they’re doing. In the last year, I’ve had four people help me with various degrees of my mind and emotions. If you want recommendations, let me know!
Your subconscious can work for you or against you. When you’re feeling negative, intense pressure, suffering, etc., something is going on with the subconscious.
Use the list above to:
- Identify the story happening (subconsciously)
- Change the story (consciously)
For example, I got bad news on a situation last week and felt terrible. There is a reason why I’m feeling that way. Something is happening internally, defining a scenario that most likely isn’t good.
IT WILL CHANGE HOW I FEEL when I source that and then change it. This is a process that has to be worked through, and the muscle needs to be built.
Give Yourself Compassion, Love, and Grace
I’ve been my worst critic. I’ve been my harshest judge.
I’ve told myself to suck it up, get over it and move on. That’s how I was raised, but it never resolved anything.
Instead, I’ve tried to perform my way out of feeling bad. That didn’t work either. 🤣
I’m learning to give myself grace, love, and compassion. I’m learning to be patient with myself.
The rub is we’re usually looking to get from other people and things that we don’t give to ourselves. I believe our work, relationships, and contribution should come from the internal overflow of love we have for ourselves.
Have you given your two cents on this?
If I’m feeling the pressure, it means I’m alive and I have free will. It means I get to choose what I do with my situation.
I will allow it to make me better or break me—my choice.
What are you choosing? Will you let the pressure hurt you or make you stronger? That is what you control.
Pressure is a privilege,
C