The Art of Letting Go
[I’m heading to D.C. with the family for fun, good food, and to tour some amazing sites and museums. It’s also my wife’s birthday. So this week’s letter won’t be long.]
The last year has been an incredible growth for me like I couldn’t have imagined.
What do you feel and think as I write that? “Man, Chris must have crushed!!”
Nope. Not. At. All.
Not growth as we typically discern it. Matter of fact-financially, I’ve gone backward substantially. It is what it is.
The growth I’m talking about has been chiefly internal and “unseen.” Maybe I should have titled this letter The Art of Suffering. Haha.
I’ve learned to let go of a lot in the process. I think that’s the only way to a fuller life: by being open-handed.
The best growth is usually the unseen growth. It’s not the growth that is praised and worshiped by mere mortals.
We praise and celebrate the MORE of everything.
Here’s what the situation looked like for me:
My bank account didn’t grow
My social following didn’t grow
My assets didn’t grow
My client roster didn’t grow
My email list didn’t grow
My businesses didn’t grow (gone)
Am I being too honest here? Good, let us continue, shall we?
By all (typical) accounts, I’ve failed gloriously. Everything went the opposite. So much so that I’m working on a book on failure. 😅
Now, these are things historically I’ve placed the highest value on. T
- Money
- Assets
- Notoriety
- Business growth
- Higher highs
Everything is up and to the right.
The process of the losses (I’m actively going through —- more on that later when I can share) has felt like carrying a dumpster (on fire) of guilt and shame around on my back.
Back to the losses and the relevance of today’s sermon on growth.
There are systems in this world. The same system that makes me depressed from being on social media for 2.5 minutes is the same system that glorifies all the “seen” things.
Note: these things aren’t inherently wrong. Money, assets, growth, etc., are all fine and good. My problem is when it rules your life. That’s an issue.
Unfortunately, our lives deep, unseen work often goes unspoken, unpraised, and unvalued.
And that’s sad.
My “unseen” growth has been one of the best things to happen:
I’m closer to my wife and kids than I’ve ever been
I see every day as a beautiful gift
I’m grateful for the simplest and smallest things
I have a greater emotional capacity for myself and my loved ones
My ability to handle hardship, trials, and tests has grown by leaps and bounds
My empathy, compassion, and love for other people have grown exponentially (a lot, in marketer words)
I’ve found that content, peace, and joy are the secrets to life, and they’re available today (even in hardships)
I’m now a wise sage (so I’ve been told)
It’s been a time of deep roots planted into the ground. The things that matter have become the priority: God and my family.
Are you feeling squeezed? Maybe you’ve gone in the “opposite” direction of what you’re supposed to or dream of.
Celebrate. If you pull back the layers, there is growth where I bet you haven’t realized it.
The squeeze….
Does it hurt? Yes.
Is it painful? Yes.
Does it suck? Yes.
Do you wish everything was just easy? Yes. Lol.
Does it make you want to quit all the time? Yes.
Does it make you want to binge Real Housewives of Orange County and eat Nutty Bars? None of your business.
It could be financial, relational, emotional, your health, or maybe all of the above.
Practical tips if you’re feeling squeezed:
1. Write down the areas in which you’ve grown.
2. Write down the learning lessons you’ve gathered.
3. Write down all your life’s wins, positives, and blessings (small or big).
You’ll notice that some deep work (thought hard) and fruit are coming to bear.
Pruning is the only way a plant can stay healthy. If you’re in a pruning season, you’re not alone. There are many, many people being pruned. 😁
The things you struggle with?
Write a list of those as well. Seriously. It could be fear, anxiety, uncertainty, loneliness, anger, etc.
My list is long, so….. don’t be afraid.
When the list is done, Write next to each- “Compassion.”
Give yourself compassion. If you’re like me, a self-judge entrepreneur-type, you don’t have a pico gram of compassion for yourself.
I always feel like I should be, could be, and must be doing more and expect much of myself. So, the exciting pattern is when I’m not “measuring up,” I easily judge, criticize, and condemn myself. Doesn’t work well.
We must place a HIGH VALUE on the internal expansion and growth.
We must focus on those things vs. “I didn’t make a billion dollars this month.”
- My kids are healthy and awesome
- My marriage is great
- I have close friends that love me for who I am
- I get to go fishing (and enjoy it)
- I have food in my pantry
I have everything I need AND more! When the perspective is correct, life is good, even when I face challenges.
So for you… what are the things that you need to hold onto? The growth unseen, unvalued, unpraised, unacknowledged, un_________?
Then, what are the things you need to let go of?
Maybe there’s some disappointment lingering. Things didn’t work out like you thought they would. I encourage you not to hold on to those things. Let go. It is a choice.
Letting go means making room for something more beautiful.
Find other people going through the same challenges and squeeze you might be experiencing and link arms with them. Gosh, what a gift this is.
Consider this:
- Know you’re not alone
- The challenges are a gift
- How you respond is a choice
As hard as the squeeze feels, it’s for you (and me).
Life is beautiful, even in the challenges.
I hope today’s message inspired you (if it did, feel free to share it).
Overflow is available and here today.
Till next time…
To the Overflow,
Chris
p.s. If you have any topics you want me to write about, reply and let me know your biggest challenge, and I’ll see if I can help you (and everybody else) via the newsletter.